Y apology and gratitude.
Forgive me for going MIA over the past few months. Quite a number of things have happened; some of it good, but some are absolutely horrid and it all escalated at the beginning of March. Troubles of my own, letting go, finding out things being said behind my back, the fear of losing someone. I'm mentally, emotionally exhausted and seriously in need of a vacation, a getaway from all this nonsense.
I feel really bad about hurting someone and I know that there's no way I can fully apologise for it. Please forgive me? Perhaps one day we'll be able to be friends again.
However, I do feel terribly hurt and disappointed as well. I don't wish to give a damn, but the truth is I do. Guess I trust people too easily and consider them friends when actually they're not. That's just me.
"Anyone can hold a grudge, but it takes real courage to forgive."
So right now, it is really going to take a lot for me to forgive all of them, especially the parties not involved. If you don't know the whole true story and just wish to make assumptions and spread malicious gossip, then shut the fuck up and fuck off.
At the same time, I do wish to thank the people that still talk to me and consider me a friend. You guys have helped to cheer me up many a time when I felt like crying. I'm really grateful to have you in my life.
In life, God doesn't send you the people you want. Instead He gives you the people you need; to teach you, to hurt you, to love you, to make you exactly the way you should be.
Hopefully, I'll come out of this experience as a much better and stronger person.
Ben ben: I'll skype with you real soon yeah. You were saying 10pm New Zealand time, so 5pm Singapore time?
.lady d.
0 waited by the moonlit waters
Y let me let go.
Faith Hill's song about the pain of needing to let go of something you want to lose the least, about how what's best for everyone isn't always easy.
i thought it was over, baby
we said our goodbyes
but I can't go a day
without your face
going through my mind
in fact, not a single minute
passes without you in it
your voice, your touch
memories of your love
are with me all of the time
let me let go, baby
let me let go
if this is for the best
why are you still in my heart
are you still in my soul
let me let go
.lady d.
0 waited by the moonlit waters
Y children.
"I regret giving birth to you."
How would you react if one day your mother told you that? Fortunately for me, I'm old enough to understand why she said that, but it definitely still hurts to hear such a line. I believe no child should ever have to go through such an experience.
"It takes two hands to clap."
I believe any arising problems should be settled between the couple and not blamed upon the children. They are the innocent parties here.
Having a child is taking a big step of responsibility. There's no such thing as turning back or regretting later. Just a little advice to the young couples out there, please be very sure of what you're about to do because it will change your lives forever.
.lady d.
0 waited by the moonlit waters
Y reflections.
Just because I smile, doesn't mean that I'm happy
Just because I look angry on the surface,
doesn't mean that I'm not hurting inside
Just because I say I'm ok, doesn't mean that I really am
Just because I'm cheerful in front of others,
doesn't mean that I don't cry when I'm alone
Just what I'm feeling inside, does anyone really know...
Just because I look angry on the surface,
doesn't mean that I'm not hurting inside
Just because I say I'm ok, doesn't mean that I really am
Just because I'm cheerful in front of others,
doesn't mean that I don't cry when I'm alone
Just what I'm feeling inside, does anyone really know...
.lady d.
0 waited by the moonlit waters
Y photos.
As promised.
Yeah I have a fringe for the first time in a very long time.
Yeah I have a fringe for the first time in a very long time.
Honestly, I would rather not post these photos as they remind me of something painful, but they are the most recent ones I have. So ben these are for you.
.lady d.
0 waited by the moonlit waters
Y year of the pig.
Happy Chinese New Year to all!
It's another new year and this time it's my year! Piggies ftw! Hehe~
We had our reunion dinner at Shangri-La, The Line, and I must say that it was so much better than last year's Ritz Carlton. It was good that my brother could join us for the full dinner this time and as usual both of us had lots of 'nonsense' conversations. After which we headed over to my aunt's place to 'bai nian' before she left for her China trip. Lunch on sunday at my grand aunt's place where I met my two new cousins! One's just one month old and the other's two months old. Both just as adorable!
Of course, big red packets from my dad and aunt and greatly appreciated. Hehe. I hope all of you had just as great a new year as I did!
.lady d.
